Mommy-hood is hard. I don’t mean hard because you’re always tired, or have so many diapers to change or spend forever putting the little one to sleep. I mean the bigger picture, having to second-guess every decision, wondering if you’re cut out for this parenting thing.
Aiyla and I went for our first play date the other day. Does it count as a play date, when she doesn’t really even know what play is yet? It was more like both our babies slept at the same time and nursed around the same time. Even though it was with a good friend of mine that I’ve known for a while, I was honestly kind of nervous. What if at some point in the day, I did something that made her realize I have no idea what I’m doing with this whole parenting thing?
I can’t believe it’s already April. That means our little girl is almost here. Our hospital bags are packed and in the car. Our birth preferences have been finalized and printed. We have our last childbirth class this weekend. I’ve read pretty much all the parenting/pregnancy books I was planning on reading. The nursery is all set up. The car seats are installed and have been inspected. The clothes have all been washed in Honest Detergent (after doing a ton of research on the different baby detergents out there). We had our maternity photo shoot and even sent one of the pictures to be printed on canvas. Our cat has been to the vet and had soft paws put on him to make sure he doesn’t scratch our precious little girl.
Normally, I’m super anti semi-homemade stuff. At least when it comes to baking. Cooking, not as much. I look like a total snob as I turn my nose up at the boxed cake mixes and frozen cookie dough at the grocery store. Betty Crocker and Pillsbury who? No thank you.
Recently, there’s been a ton of egg whites in our fridge. The recipe I use for my chocolate chip cookies calls for an extra egg yolk. Which means I have a lot of leftover egg whites. Since we had a ton of orders from the Gilt City promo we ran, I had even more than usual. Normally, I make some kind of financiers with my extra egg whites, because well 1) I LOVE financiers 2) I know they get eaten 3) they are super easy to make. But I just blogged about financiers, and I have WAY more egg whites than my financier recipe calls for.
I’ve been debating whether or not to really delve into the business side of things on this blog. I mean, most people just want to hear about the recipe, whatever it is I made, maybe some funny side notes. But business and baking? Not really a hit on google searches. But then I thought about how I basically talk about my life in this blog, and recently, my life has been taken over by this business and our baby. I’ve talked a little bit about our upcoming baby, but not so much about the business side of things. So here we go.
We’re not too huge on Valentines Day. Not to say we don’t enjoy celebrating how lucky we are to have each other, and the fact that we are an official couple. That’s why I love celebrating our anniversary. But all the commercialism behind Valentines Day, I just haven’t really been big on. The roses (which I’ve never been a fan of, I prefer tulips), the jewelry (all I wear is my wedding rings and a necklace my dad got me that says Allah in Arabic), the chocolate (I would love to get a big box of fair trade chocolate chips to bake with, but not those heart shaped boxes with a bunch of flavors you probably don’t care too much for anyway). We don’t do the whole exchanging of presents or anything.
I just had a meltdown. Probably my first real emotional outbreak since this whole pregnancy. Thank God my husband works from home a couple of days a week and held me while I cried. What caused this meltdown? A message from my endocrinologist.
I wanted to call these Banana Pecan Chocolate Swirl Bars, but it’s a mouthful, I know. So I tried to shorten it. We’ve all been at that point where you have at least 3 bananas that are turning really black and just need to be baked. And I’m guessing I’m not the ONLY baker out there that lives in a house of 2 adults, where finishing a big loaf of banana bread is kind of hard. I really wasn’t feeling something too rich and dense either.
I love, love, love Dorie Greenspan. I think I’ve only tried one recipe of her’s that didn’t make me feel like the best baker in the world. I have four of her books, but I seem to keep going back to Baking: From my Home to Yours. Because, well, its full of desserts. But this time, I didn’t. One of my girlfriends invited a couple of us over for dinner, so I of course volunteered to bring dessert. I really wasn’t feeling anything chocolate, and wanted something without frills, just a straightforward simple dessert to clean our palate with.